You have two choices in life:
You can stay single and be miserable,
or get married and wish you were dead.
At a cocktail party, one woman said to another,
"Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the
wrong finger?"
"Yes, I am. I married the wrong man."
A lady inserted an ad in the classifieds:
'Husband Wanted"
The next day she received a hundred letters.
They all said the same thing:
"You can have mine."
When a woman steals your husband,
there is no better revenge than to let her keep
him.
A woman is incomplete until she is married. Then
she is
finished.
A little boy asked his father,
"Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"
Father replied, "I don't know, son, I'm still
paying."
A young son asked,
"Is it true, Dad, that in some parts of Africa
a man doesn't know his wife until he marries
her?"
Dad replied, "That happens in every country,
son."
Then there was a woman who said,
"I never knew what real happiness was until I got
married, and by then, it was too late."
Marriage is the triumph of imagination
over intelligence.
If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict
attention to
every word
you say -- talk in your sleep.
Just think, if it wasn't for marriage,
men would go through life
thinking they
had no faults at all.
First guy says, "My wife's an angel!"
Second guy remarks, "You're lucky. Mine's still alive."
A Woman's Prayer
Dear Lord, I pray for Wisdom, to understand a man
to love and to forgive him, and for Patience, for his moods.
Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll just beat him to
death.
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